2020 – drjuls

25Nov

Julie LyleBalance, Beautiful Life, Gratitude, Personal Growth

Giving Thanks

So much has been given to me; I have no time to
ponder over that which has been denied.
—Helen Keller

The pandemic has denied us many “ings.” Socializing, hugging, partying, traveling, playing, shaking hands, smiling at one another (due to masks), riding roller coasters, mingling, joining in the workplace, studying on campus, greeting one another in church pews and synagogues, singing in concert halls, cheering at Petco Park—the list goes on. Yes, there are many “ings” absent in our day-to-day lives yet there are a few that are impervious to Covid-19: giving, thanking, loving.

Giving to those in need—consider making a donation to a community organization. Thanking others is a “social distanced” verbal hug. Reach out to someone (or many) and share your appreciation with a phone call. Whether spending Thanksgiving with a few friends or enjoying a much smaller than usual family gathering, perhaps the quote from Helen Keller could be a conversation starter around the table or on a Zoom gathering? Focus on what we have been given during our lifetime, not what has been denied during this challenging year.

“What has been given to you?”

Breath ~ Life ~ Friendship ~ Dreams ~ Curiosity ~ Mind ~ Vision ~ Health ~ Opportunity ~ Time ~ Creativity ~ Language ~ Faith ~ Hope ~ LOVE

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.
—Khalil Gibran

It is my sincere hope you will “gobble up” and “digest” (couldn’t resist the puns 😊) all that you have been given and turn your focus to gratitude for another day of giving and receiving love. Wishing you a cornucopia filled with health and gratitude this Thanksgiving.

Enjoy this song by Jason Mraz, beautifully capturing “another day of loving.”

P.S. Couldn’t resist sharing this photo from the 2009 archives as my son and I were lucky to have a “Meet and Greet” following Jason’s concert at Coors Amphitheater.

Jason Mraz

02Nov

Julie LyleBeautiful Life, Covid-19, Life Challenges, Personal Growth

Ca suffit, reste tranquille

During my college summers, I worked as an au pair (nanny) in France. I adored the history, pastries, boutiques, villages, lush countryside, bustle of the Champs-Elysees, Le Metro underground transport and Bateau Mouche rides on the Seine. Yet most of all, I loved, and was mesmerized by, the language.

My adorable charges often spoke, ran and bicycled at speeds I struggled to match, yet one saying I used frequently was … “Ca suffit, reste tranquille.” Literally translated it is, “That’s enough, stay calm.” It always flowed more as a caution than a reprimand, an invitation not a dictate. When our fears, future anxieties and distress speed up, it may be an opportunity to tell ourselves just this.

As we begin this week, many may be experiencing tensions regarding possible election results. I encourage you to take a moment and close your eyes, inhaling a full, glorious breath and say to yourself (in whatever language you prefer), “That’s enough. Stay calm.”

Music has always reminded me of the heart and soul of our humanity and never fails to bring me joy and optimism. I sincerely hope these selections will do the same for you. Ca suffit, reste tranquille.

15Jun

Julie LyleCovid-19, Life Challenges, Personal Growth

Post “Shelter in Place”—Take Baby Steps When Returning to Life

Since March, we heeded the red lights; sheltering, distancing and halting our day to day lives in the hopes of keeping the Covid-19 enemy’s toll reduced and at bay. We have arrived at mid-June, and the lights are turning green! In the 1991 film, “What About Bob?” the concept of “baby steps” was comically captured as Bill Murray’s character, Bob, conquered his fears by taking baby steps to overcome a mountain of anxieties. With each challenge, he coaxed himself to make progress. “Baby steps to the elevator. Baby steps to the bus stop!” Here is a fun clip to remind you of this hilarious film and if you have never seen it, perhaps put in on your “to watch” list!

It is natural to have a bit of “Bob” in us as we adjust to post “shelter in place” living. Leaving the house, returning to a workplace, entering a retail store, volunteering, having an in-person therapy appointment or meeting up with a few friends may now be evoking a plethora of nervous anticipation. Assessing risk is a significant component of balanced decision making. For example, you have an important appointment and as you drive, the “low fuel” light is blinking on the dashboard of the car. If you stop for gas, what is the risk of being late for the meeting? If you continue in order to be on time what is the risk of ending up on the side of the road? We are constantly measuring the risk of a decision, or behavior, and its outcome value.

Possessing a mindfulness of health and safety risks is essential to self-care. Thoughtful consideration of “stepping out” goes hand in hand with emotional wellness. It is absolutely OK to say, “Today I will decide on a few baby steps I am willing to take.”

03Jun

Julie LylePersonal Growth, The Journey of Life

Journey Home with Wisdom, Love, Bravery

The Wizard of Oz came to mind the other day and, at the risk of being too simplistic, I believe it to hold the ingredients for emotional healing.

I lived in Africa as a teenager. My father embraced an opportunity for our family to live abroad as well as advance his career in the communication industry. My world was turned upside down as we left our home in Southern California—no beach, friends or Friday night football games? What! I resisted initially and yet the magic of Africa is hard to deny, even as a 16-year-old!

I hold this chapter in my life as an unearthed diamond, a treasure discovered. It became a lens that forever changed my vision of the world. I witnessed the extraordinary magic of African art, music, food, landscapes, traditions, and a cherished people with a resounding depth of tribal legacy. I can smell the rich, red clay dirt roads and envision my favorite market vendor with reams of vibrant material. I also recall being one of a few white faces in this same marketplace and the calm I felt when greeted by curious smiles, conversation and warmth, as well as my stomach anxiously twitching when I heard a few chant “serpent blanc” (white snake) as I walked by. I was mesmerized by the strength, stoic leadership of women, wrapping their infants tight, while carrying baskets laden with food and supplies on their powerful, unfaltering heads. With local friends and guides, we learned about our new territory, gained wisdom, adapted, found our way and felt loved. My parents, sister and I made a home in Bangui, Central African Republic.

In The Wizard of Oz, Dorothy was on a quest to return home. One man, “the wizard” was sought out to accomplish this mission. Her companions along the journey, Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion were seeking what they believed they lacked; a brain, a heart and courage. They found out, the solution was not with the wizard, it was within each of them to attain what was missing.

In the strife and violence we have witnessed during this past week, our journey to find “home” requires wisdom, love and bravery today. The horror of seeing George Floyd grasp, plead and then lose his last breath is a collective trauma for our nation and the world. The protection which law enforcement represents was severely violated by this evil, dominating act against a Black man. Courage, wisdom, listening, compassion, respect and love are not colors. Now is the time for each of us to look within, find the courage to challenge limiting beliefs, engage in thoughtful reflection, learn more and gain wisdom, share compassionate understanding and employ respect to actively express love for one another.

The iconic Diana Ross played the role of “Dorothy” in the 1978 film “The Wiz.” I encourage you to pause and click on her moving message in the song “Home” from the film.

Brother Iz, truly a gentle giant, sings “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” Enjoy his melodic version of this timeless song.

27Apr

Julie LyleBalance, Covid-19

The Restorative Magic of Time

Sorrow by Abraham Lincoln

In this sad world of ours,
sorrow comes to all
and it often comes with bitter agony
perfect relief is not possible
except with time
you cannot now believe that
you will ever feel better
but this is not true
you are sure to be happy again
knowing this, truly believing it,
will make you less miserable now.

While in Kindergarten, my son was learning about “Honest Abe.” At after school pick up one day, following a memorable classroom discussion about our 16th President, he posed this question, “Mama, did you know Abraham Lincoln?” To which I replied, “Of course I know about President Lincoln.” My son became more adamant, “NO! Did you ever meet him?” Hah!

While coming across this poem by my friend, Abe 😊, I smiled at the contrast of the title of the poem with this humorous memory. In so doing, I instinctively practiced what I believe his words were intending. Recognizing a difficult time in our lives, where there is no perfect relief needs to be paired with a future day when happiness and comfort prevail.

With this worldwide health crisis, there is no perfect relief to what we are facing. Even with masks, social distancing, stunningly dedicated and talented healthcare workers, scientists working tirelessly, this virus is permeating our life and for many, the sorrow is agonizing and what relief awaits is not immediate. In the words of this poem, “You are sure to be happy again…” is offered up as a promise packaged in time.

Try this: Recall an event when you ached from an emotional hurt or felt challenged by an unwanted change and questioned when you would feel happy again. In time, smiles and joy did find you—not perfect relief, but weeks and months carried you to less distress and reconstructed happiness. As this week begins, focus on the restorative magic of time and savor the transformation from loss to replenished and from fear to hope. This, in the words of ol’ Abe, may make you less miserable now.

03Apr

Julie LyleBalance, Covid-19, Personal Growth

Patience and Wisdom in Challenging Times

Patience is the companion of wisdom.
—Augustine of Hippo, 354-430 AD

The human experience is truly timeless, even more so as I came across this quote and marveled at the author’s year of birth—354 AD. Hmmmm, I have a hard time counting backwards from 100 😊, imagine the year 354 AD? Profound truths are eternal and this qualifies when we consider the health crisis we face today.

The joining of patience and wisdom, companions in dealing with challenging circumstances, is a vital partnership. How did they meet and dare I say, even become friends? Maybe it went something like this…

Wisdom: “Hello, may I ask your name?”

Patience: “My name is Patience, it is best pronounced very slowly. And yours?”

Wisdom: “I am Wisdom, but you can call me Wise. What is your purpose during strife and difficulties?”

Patience: “I am able to tolerate challenges calmly and without complaint. I am steadfastly determined to bear adversity, find ways to trust and have faith in overcoming hardships. What makes you Wise?”

Wisdom: “I accumulate knowledge, scientifically and philosophically. I seek balance, reflection, perspective, reason and conscientious solutions.”

They stood for a long, thoughtful moment, and then gave slow, knowing nods to one another.

Wisdom: “Patience, you offer deep breaths, soothing assurance and acceptance of what is. You are what I need.”

Patience: “Wisdom, you allow for exploration of answers and options for possibilities. You are what I need.”

Wisdom: “After careful consideration, I would be honored to have you as my companion, will you join me?”

Patience: “I would be happy to, I have all the time in the world.”

25Mar

Julie LyleCovid-19

Covid-19 Pandemic: A Time to Pause and Discover

Stop leaving
And you will arrive.
Stop searching
And you will see.
Stop running away and
You will be found.
—Anonymous

Just as lettered plastic ping pong balls tumble in a spinning Bingo cage, a million words are bouncing in my head, waiting to be called out. I have been hungry for words during the past week—scientific words to explain, brave words to ease fear, tender words to bring comfort, lighthearted words to bolster a heavy mood. My guess is this quote did not originate in response to a pandemic! Yet, it spoke to me, as I hope it does for you.

Stop leaving. We have been stopped from leaving, coming, going, mingling, dining out, embracing, and on and on. We have arrived where we live, looking into the hours, days and weeks of being on our own or side by side with family members. This arrival beckons projects, games, creativity, meals, work, movies, conversations and decisions on how best to fill this time with meaning, connection and endurance.

Stop searching. Often a search for our value and belonging is woven within our vocations, recreation, socializing, and busyness. Now without these external means of fulfillment, we are forced to stop and see our lives up close. This standstill vision can be an opportunity to focus on ignored or untended areas of your home, self and relationships.

Stop running away. So much of our hectic pace, schedules and running, keep us on a rapidly paced conveyor belt of life. Often the “have to do’s” propel us to run away from our hearts’ desire, dreams and yes, true self. Which begs the question? How will you be found? What will you discover, uncover, foster, acknowledge and bravely examine in this paused and still place?

Dig deep to sustain patience, find creative avenues and confidence to face each chapter of this challenge.