Change, Luck, Time

Not dreams but night changes, not destiny but path changes,
always keep your hopes alive, luck may or may not change,
but time definitely changes. 
—Elmore Leonard

When daylight saving time arrives, there is the scramble to adjust the clock and the helpful hint of “spring ahead, fall back” has always helped me navigate.  At the stroke of midnight welcoming March 8th, there may be a time change depending on your geography. Yet for all of us, nine days later, March 17th St. Patrick’s Day will arrive.  As I love to do, I contemplated the trifecta of CHANGE, LUCK and TIME.

I would be remiss to not acknowledge the significant changes taking place  in the lives of millions of people in the Middle East as well as US and Israeli armed forces. These events highlight a vital aspect and often primary catalyst of change; the determination of whether a “change” is necessary, wanted, unwanted or not needed.

Often, change is seen through the lens of timing and luck.  Jobs we land, where we live, financial gain or loss, falling in and out of love, goal achievements and health are just a few aspects of life’s ever spinning merry-go-round of change.  A company is downsizing, who considers themselves lucky or unlucky to be the one to remain or the one to turn in the office laptop?

When clients arrive to therapy, most carry the emotional toll from unwanted or unexpected change, such as the betrayal by a romantic partner.  Often, these clients feel they are unlucky victims.  Yet this is where time enters the equation, carrying us forward.  Many clients state months and years later, “I am lucky to be out of that relationship.”  While others reflect on an unwanted change event as a knock on the relationship’s door, inviting in the reconstruction of a partnership and recognizing, “Because of this change, we are stronger and better now than we’ve ever been.”

We often determine our lucky status based on an outcome.  If the result of a change was hurtful or disappointing there is a tendency to consider ourselves unlucky, doomed or faulted in the random nature of desired versus unwanted results.

What if lucky means finding the courage to do what we could never have imagined we could do? Perhaps “luck” has something to do with NOT being so quick to label yourself “unlucky” and instead allowing time to reveal dimensions of self-discovery; gaining confidence and self-pride in the process.  Is luck really random or can we intentionally choose to feel lucky and if we feel lucky, doesn’t that infuse happiness?  Is luck what happens to you or is it how you choose to live?

By expanding optimism, determination, suspending expectations and identifying gratitude we grow our hopefulness and resiliency. How lucky is that?!