27Apr

The Restorative Magic of Time

The Restorative Magic of Time

Sorrow by Abraham Lincoln
 
In this sad world of ours,
sorrow comes to all
and it often comes with bitter agony
perfect relief is not possible
except with time
you cannot now believe that
you will ever feel better
but this is not true
you are sure to be happy again
knowing this, truly believing it,
will make you less miserable now.

While in Kindergarten, my son was learning about “Honest Abe.” At after school pick up one day, following a memorable classroom discussion about our 16th President, he posed this question, “Mama, did you know Abraham Lincoln?” To which I replied, “Of course I know about President Lincoln.” My son became more adamant, “NO! Did you ever meet him?” Hah!

While coming across this poem by my friend, Abe 😊, I smiled at the contrast of the title of the poem with this humorous memory. In so doing, I instinctively practiced what I believe his words were intending. Recognizing a difficult time in our lives, where there is no perfect relief needs to be paired with a future day when happiness and comfort prevail.

With this worldwide health crisis, there is no perfect relief to what we are facing. Even with masks, social distancing, stunningly dedicated and talented healthcare workers, scientists working tirelessly, this virus is permeating our life and for many, the sorrow is agonizing and what relief awaits is not immediate. In the words of this poem, “You are sure to be happy again…” is offered up as a promise packaged in time.

Try this: Recall an event when you ached from an emotional hurt or felt challenged by an unwanted change and questioned when you would feel happy again. In time, smiles and joy did find you—not perfect relief, but weeks and months carried you to less distress and reconstructed happiness. As this week begins, focus on the restorative magic of time and savor the transformation from loss to replenished and from fear to hope. This, in the words of ol’ Abe, may make you less miserable now.

03Apr

Patience and Wisdom in Challenging Times

Patience is the companion of wisdom.
—Augustine of Hippo, 354-430 AD

The human experience is truly timeless, even more so as I came across this quote and marveled at the author’s year of birth—354 AD. Hmmmm, I have a hard time counting backwards from 100 😊, imagine the year 354 AD? Profound truths are eternal and this qualifies when we consider the health crisis we face today.

The joining of patience and wisdom, companions in dealing with challenging circumstances, is a vital partnership. How did they meet and dare I say, even become friends? Maybe it went something like this…

Wisdom:  “Hello, may I ask your name?”

Patience: “My name is Patience, it is best pronounced very slowly. And yours?”

Wisdom:  “I am Wisdom, but you can call me Wise. What is your purpose during strife and difficulties?”

Patience: “I am able to tolerate challenges calmly and without complaint. I am steadfastly determined to bear adversity, find ways to trust and have faith in overcoming hardships. What makes you Wise?”

Wisdom:  “I accumulate knowledge, scientifically and philosophically. I seek balance, reflection, perspective, reason and conscientious solutions.”

They stood for a long, thoughtful moment, and then gave slow, knowing nods to one another.

Wisdom:  “Patience, you offer deep breaths, soothing assurance and acceptance of what is. You are what I need.”

Patience: “Wisdom, you allow for exploration of answers and options for possibilities. You are what I need.”

Wisdom:  “After careful consideration, I would be honored to have you as my companion, will you join me?”

Patience: “I would be happy to, I have all the time in the world.”

 

29Jun

Balance Life, Observe Gratitude

We will be more successful in all our endeavors if we can let go of the habit of running all the time, and take little pauses to relax and re-center ourselves. And we’ll also have a lot more joy in living.  Thich Nhat Hanh

I grew up listening to Fleetwood Mac, Genesis, Journey, Bob Seger and a variety of other iconic 70’s and 80’s artists.  Jackson Browne was a favorite, and one song in particular resonates with Thich Nhat Hanh’s quote, it went something like this “Running on – running on empty. Running on – running blind, running on – running into the sun, but I’m running behind.”

While driving to the office, I spotted a truck coming to a stop at a left turn light.  I noticed the brake light on the driver’s side was not working.  Pulling around to the driver’s left side as the light was red, I rolled my passenger window down and waved.  The driver took no notice, as he was talking on his cell phone.  The light changed and as we drove away I sighed at the irony.  Here I was trying to alert him that he could get ticketed for no brake light, and there he was on his phone, which last I checked, is a moving violation.

As parents we tell our children to “eat slowly”, “take your time on your homework” and “brush your teeth longer than 5 seconds!”  We emphasize slowing down, and yet what do we model for them?  “Hurry up! We are going to be late!”  The conflict between getting things done and slowing down can be aggravating and perplexing.

How we run and run, from text to call, to chores, to work, to kids practices and household demands, to friends and events, we run.  And yet, as we run, are we really awake? Are we experiencing joy, breathing, contentment, gratitude?  As we enter this week of Thanksgiving, I invite you to take this challenge…pause.

When you get in the car, take 5.  No, not minutes, but deep breaths before you turn the motor on.  Five deep breaths, eyes closed, to re-center yourself.  When you begin to drive, perhaps no radio or news?  Drive in silence, taking in he color of the sky, the homes and buildings where others lives unfold as you cruise by.

While entering your next location, back home, the office, grocery store, post office, take a moment to make eye contact with someone, smile, make a nice comment and notice.  That’s it, a little pause to connect with another human, who most likely is running too.

Is there a place you can call “sanctuary” in the house?  Sanctuary is a word I love.  Its meaning is related to worship, yet also means a place of repose, protection and reflection.  Select a small corner in your bedroom, or a room not being used, even a deck chair out on the patio and make it “your pause place.” Adding a candle, a beloved photo, a vase with fresh flowers, a new throw blanket or pillow can all accentuate this as your “time out” place, not for being naughty, quite the opposite.  For being very good to yourself!

Reading can bring a welcomed pause, most of us have a book we thought would be a fun, useful or inspiring read which has gathered dust.  Take it out and keep it close by,

In the words of Willie Nelson, “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.”  Well, what about today if you say “When I started taking little pauses, my whole attitude turned around.”

This is your cause, to pause.  Breathe, notice, smile, connect, read, be grateful and repeat.  I am pausing now, as I consider my support work with each of you.   I am very grateful for your trust, willingness, courage, perseverance, and hope to find resolve and satisfaction in your very precious lives.

 

 

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